Avoiding animosity when paying restaurant bills

Rule 1: Everyone pays the same amount

Why not adopt the payment practices of our neighbouring countries and simply divide the bill by the number of people present?

That’s also the approach recommended by Vincent Moissonnier, a starred chef and author on restaurant etiquette: "In my native France, Italy or Greece, no one would ever argue about splitting the bill. The others at the table would see that as an affront."

If the group regularly eats together, the diners can also take it in turns to pay the bill.

Rule 2: Inform the server in advance

If payment is to be made separately, for example at a company meal, it’s important to tell the server before the order is placed.

Vincent Moissonnier generally recommends discussing how to pay the bill before the meal. This makes everything easier and quicker for everyone. This also applies to various special cases that can even arise in seemingly straightforward situations.

This is how to split the bill when ...

... only one person drinks alcohol:

The easiest way to do this is to divide the bill by the number of people eating, and the person who drank the alcohol then covers the tip. Otherwise the person drinking can find out the exact amount on the bill and increase their share of the total meal by this amount.

... only one person doesn’t drink:

This person should pay a smaller share of the total amount or request a separate bill.

Another option would be to ask for two bills for the table – one for the food and another for the drinks, which is then divided just between the people drinking. And if the only person not drinking is the driver for the group, you could pay for their meal as a thank-you.

... someone orders something significantly more expensive:

Here the person concerned should acknowledge this and offer to pay more at the end. Lobster or a Wagyu steak is a lot more expensive than a plate of salad.

By the way, if you’re invited to dinner, you should order something similar in price to the other diners at the table. Opting for the most expensive dish would be a faux pas.

... it’s a birthday dinner:

If you’re the person who has invited everyone, make it clear before the meal what you’re going to pay for exactly. You should at least cover the cost of the drinks.

If the meal is being arranged by your friends, they should offer to pay for you. Otherwise it might be time to find some new friends ...

... when food is shared, but one person can hardly eat any of it due to allergies or eating habits:

Sharing lots of smaller dishes is very much in vogue. If one guest can only eat a few dishes, they may request a separate bill.

... one person chooses the restaurant as a surprise:

It’s important to tell the group about the prices they can expect to pay beforehand. Not everyone can afford expensive meals all the time.

Include a tip

People who split the bill sometimes forget to include a tip, especially when paying by card. That’s no big deal as long as it’s not forgotten altogether.

It’s best to tip in cash anyway, says restaurateur Moissonnier. This means it goes to the right person and creates less paperwork for the restaurant.